2 Simple Ways You Can Choose Kindness In Real Life (IRL)

All people matter!
How do we show it then?
picture credit: Your Life Purpose

Like most things in life, choosing kindness can sometimes be easier said than done!  Many of us feel too busy to stop for acts of kindness or even what I would call, kind relating, or interpersonal warmth.  And hey, there are some people who feel they are just the "cold" types.  Still, I hope more people give kindness and warmth a chance.


In some areas of our lives it will be easier, while in others it will seem impossible.  Also, there might be people in your life that you could never see yourself being kind to while there are others with whom you could never imagine being unkind.  This post is not to challenge you to be kind to the impossible person, although kudos to you if you can do that from a compassionate and authentic place in your heart.  


This post though is really about the large act of kindness that is PRESENCE and what it can look like!


2 Simple Ways You Can Choose Kindness:

1. Acknowledge your neighbor.  One of our basic emotional needs as humans is to be acknowledged.  As you move through your day, give the gift of acknowledgement to as many people as you can.  It would be great to offer smiles to those around you, but eye contact that is warm is just as good.  Also, heighten acknowledgment with friends and loved ones by making sure  your eyes are on (focus your attention, this person in front of you, in this moment in time, is the most important person in the world right then and there), heart is on (to make sure your heart is on, you might want to put your hand on your chest over your heart and remind yourself, "I care about this person and it matters to me how this person is doing/feeling" so that there is a heart-mind-body connection that you bring in an authentic way when relating with this person) and have your phone away (if you must make an announcement like, "I just need to wrap up this phone call, close a text convo/tweet discussion/final FB thread comment" etc then do so, but acknowledgement requires attention and if your fingers are, as my Twin often says, "Ticky Tacky-ing" then you are not WITH the person in front of you).  When you do this, whether the moment is a minute long or 30 minutes long, you are sharing, "I see you", "I'm with you", and "You are loved."  
2. Share your temperature.  As soon as we are born there is an urgency to be skin-to-skin, to feel the warm, soothing, and safe touch of another person.  Touch is so important in our lives at every age.  I'm a big hugger and happily give out hugs freely, but all that's needed in sharing your warmth through touch, or having a tactile exchange is a point of contact.  Offering a pat on the back, a pat on the hand, a shoulder to shoulder touch, or any combination of what feels comfortable, safe, and good are all it takes.  For some this might feel awkward, because "touch" has been unfairly sexualized in our culture, but just as I would practice safe travelling, safe driving, safe sex, etc, I would practice safe touch.  There are some folks who do not want to any physical contact of any kind or do not want contact from specific people, in your act of kindness to share your warmth, do not violate their boundaries and do not violate your own.  Share your warmth and watch how it warms others' hearts.  

So, as you move in your day to day, consider yourself a vessel of healing goodness and kindness.  Your warmth radiates from the cells in your body, it shows on your face, and in your walk and it can be shared easily by sharing acknowledgment of another person or passed between you as you shake hands or lock arms.  When you choose kindness, you also receive the gifts!

Choose Kindness!

~Vicky