Happy Valentine's Day: Thoughts From A Wise Lover and A Realistic Romantic

My V-Day Card from my Dad.  It is for his three daughters
so he writes on the envelope, "Sisters 'B'. 'P.'" for our last name
and mom's last name a la traditional "Hispanic" cultural practice.

My Facebook Status:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
My first Valentine's Day card today is from my Dad. Love that man. Some people just don't have it in them to bathe others in warmth and loving tenderness on an every day basis, but give them a day where they allow themselves to push beyond their regular mode of operation, and they might leave a Valentine's Day card for you... that's why made up socially constructed consumerism driven Holidays mean a lot to me. Happy Valentine's Day to all the LOVERS, HATERS, & EVERYBODY in between! We are all children of God and if God is Love, then there's a lot of LOVE HERE! ♥ 

Thoughts on Valentine's Day


MY VALENTINE
I love my Dad who had a card waiting for me (to share with my sisters).  My Dad isn't my Valentine, but as I think about what Valentine's Day means to me, I feel really blessed that I get to share today with a special Valentine who keeps surprising me.  With his words and actions that keep speaking the language of tenderness, I am more and more caught off guard by his presence, patience, reciprocity, attention, and concern- I didn't expect all of that from him.  In fact, I knew we had great chemistry, I knew we had started a nice bond, and I knew that we would laugh and have great fun together, but I didn't see this coming.  At the end of the day, I am still Single and still dating, but this man radiates warmth and caring- I love how that feels.  I am honored that he wants to spend time with me on Valentine's Day and I am excited to spend time with him.

So today, if you find yourself with a special Valentine or if you can recognize that you are your best Valentine, witness the blessing that you are and have.  See your worth, the beauty of your special-ness, and what you mean to others.



LOVE is being PRESENT
I've been pretty emotional these past few days.  I guess, with good reason.  One of my besties just had her second child and a team of besties have been right there every step of the way.  We have gladly sacrificed our regular routine to be there, fully present with our querida amiga.  We have spent days and evenings together waiting for our little bundle of joy to bless us, but really the waiting was one of the gifts baby Rachel gave us- the waiting was really the SPENDING TIME TOGETHER and I am so grateful for that gift.

So today, if you are called to WAIT with someone, SPEND THAT TIME being PRESENT with each other.  See it as an opportunity in a world that moves fast to finally slow down with each other.  Spend it sharing stories, laughter, and knowing glances.... Don't be mad at the wait (the line at the movies, the restaurant line, the ticket line etc etc)!  Love the WAIT for giving you the freedom to BE WITH THIS PERSON RIGHT NOW.  Take a few deep breaths to relax your body and mind so that you give the gift of PRESENCE.  



LOVE is being PATIENT
"Waiting" applies here too, but not in the way you think.  You might have heard me declare here and other places, like in my interview with Sujeiry Gonzalez, "You need to be Dating and NOT WAITING!"  Love is patient, but Love is not about staying in the WAIT.  Being patient means your state of mind is calm, serene, relaxed and open.  Your physical form can be ACTIVE, DOING, and MOVING (and of course you can also be STILL).  In fact, love is patient with yourself and others, letting them be exactly who they are, not WAITING for them to be who you want!  Because we honor who we are, the great rub of relationships is this conundrum, "how do I both honor who I am, and honor who he/she is?"  Patience is the tool that allows us to take a breather before we "attack" someone we love for not being exactly who we are, what we want, how we expect life and people to act and be.  That is love.  It takes patience to not react to someone being who they are.  Let's face it, many times, and for many of us, we don't have that kind of patience.  This is even more evident with our romantic partners.  We lose patience with them quickly and because we feel safe in their love and them not "quitting us",  we also lash out easily.  That is the beauty of commitment though, right?  I can be my ugliest most worst person, but you will still stick around, right?  Well, I promote healing, healthy, and happy relating (went with all H's on that one- Hooray!) and so as long people are committed to improving and working on honoring their relationships, these arguments can be places of healing, maturity, and transformation.

So today if you are presented with a person that does something you do not like, or even better, your romantic partner, spouse, significant other, does or says something that rubs you the wrong way, STOP and take a breather before your REACT!  Respond, do not react.  Think, PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE (mmm nice mantra- I like).  Remember, that this person (whether friend, foe, or loved one) is NOT YOU and CANNOT BE or DO exactly as YOU would BE or DO.  Then, RESPOND from a place of authenticity (not what you "feel" is honesty- "Oh my God, You're an idiot! is honesty from your perspective, but not authenticity which comes from the REASON YOU ARE EVEN ANNOYED, "I would have done that differently"- is more authentic).


LOVE is not about the BLING
Unfortunately, Valentine's Day has gone the way of many commercial Holidays!  So, some folks end up poo-pooing the value of the occasion as the meaning gets lots in large Mylar Balloons, the best chocolates money can buy, dozens and dozens of roses, and some kinda bling bling.  My take on this is, if you have the money, give it to me baby! Haha!  I love big useless balloons and there are only a few occasions to indulge in Ballon-Lust! True or not true?  So, even though, as a former lover (this might be the first time I have written this phrase, "former lover"- I am so grown up now) of mine told me, "you are the most non-materialistic person I know, and I mean that in good way!  And not because you don't want things, but because the things mean nothing to you unless it comes to you in the right way..." -he had just told me about his fancy car that I had no interest in, and I am notoriously known for not liking to go shopping for clothes as well as have been seen with shoes and sneakers on their last thread- yup, I'm so bling bling! ha!  So, on Valentine's Day, yes, I want those special Valentine gift things if it makes sense and comes from the desire to give out of love, but more importantly, I would much rather SPEND TIME TOGETHER if that IS ALL WE HAVE MONEY FOR.

So today, recognize that the biggest gift money can buy is PRESENCE, PATIENCE, and TIME together with people or a person you care about and love.  All that other stuff, is icing and cherries- I like icing and cherries, but it wouldn't be the same without the cake and ice-cream.


More Thoughts on Valentine's Day Shared by my #LLBlog Sisters, the Latina Lifestyle Bloggers:

• The Four Stages of Valentines Day by Ana Lydia
• Last Minute Valentines Day Gifts: Spa Deal, Books, and William Levy  by Sujeiry Gonzalez
• Love and Friendship, Happy Valentine's Day by Nina
• Happy Valentine's Day by Helen Troncoso

Wishes of Loving, Hugging, Holding, Kissing, and and and...

Happy Valentine's Day!

~Vicky

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