I was a lucky girl growing up in that I never felt unloved, but I didn't grow up thinking things were necessarily safe around me- you could say that there was a lot of "dysfunction" going on. I grew up in a crazy paradoxical context where I knew I was loved, but I also thought that being loved couldn't protect me- as I believed was proven to me at the time. From a young age, I was quite the paranoid hyper-vigilant girl that had a grasp on the reality of mortality. I was both sheltered and over-exposed to things I had no business trying to understand and manage at a young age, unfortunately.
So, over the years on Father's Day, I would look for the card that spoke to that feeling, "You're really not the best dad because you haven't done enough to keep me safe but you give it go and that's what counts." Now, having grown up some and my dad having grown up some and us being a little different than when we first started this father-daughter journey together, I do see the man that I couldn't see before- A Good Man. In fact, my dad is pretty amazing even though he has rough edges, can be harsh, and can be hard to love at times. Yes, but he is also very funny, endearing, and loves his wife (my mom) and his three daughters to death.
On Sunday, June 19th, 2011, we spent Father's Day, having a quick dinner in the city and enjoying Cirque du Soleil's Zarkana! And the best part was that it was his idea! This is a man that usually says he wants to do nothing!! Even better, this might mark the beginning of more nuclear family bonding via excursions!
I am so grateful for having him in my life and I love that we can continue sharing this journey together.
Love you, Daddy.