Thoughtful Thursday: Thinking of That Best Friendship That "Ended"

From NewYorkChica.com

[Family]...No matter the issue, there was a bond that I always saw that was very important.

Yes, people gave each other the silent treatment. Yes, people gave each other evil looks. Yes, people cursed at each other and said hurtful things. But in the end, they forgave and “forgot” about the issue. To me that is what life is all about – the true meaning of the word family.

“You forgive and you forget. “ The phrase is not meant to take literally, in my opinion. What it means to me is that if you have a downfall with a loved one, take time away for awhile and try to get a breath. Chill out, so to speak. After you’re ready to talk, explain how you feel, try to forgive because life is too damn short and get over it – don’t forget the situation because obviously you learned something out of the argument, right?

-Lisa of "New York Chica". Quoted from Blog Post, "Family Matters…..or does it?"

So, with thoughts of that BFF relationship that "ended" in mind, I took to commenting on Lisa's blog:

Dear Lisa
        I feel you mujer!  I think what is toughest about this, is not only were you in-laws but you were actually good friends from how close you were saying you had gotten.  Also, you felt you could talk to her and share and it would be ok, because there is una confiansa there.  Bottom line, you have done everything to say that it was never your intention to have her feel hurt about what you shared.  It's unfortunate that small disagreements can lead to big damages in a relationship. 

When I read your post it was like reading my experience with my bestest friend at the time.
It's been 4 years and all my attempts at making amends are unwelcomed. I should add, it started with me hurting her unintentionally and then she "attacked" me and then I could not recover right away from that which to her was reason enough to cut me off.  The thing is for me, she is still my sister forever.  That bond cannot be broken.  We don't have to like each other, she doesn't have to talk to me, but I love her just the same regardless.

Do I think one day she will stop being stubborn? I hope for it, but it's ok if she doesn't, if that's her choice.  We can't force people, but we can leave the door open and reach out when it feels right to do so.

We can never go back to being the same and that is a reality, but why not go forth in a direction that is civil, peaceful, and loving especially if there is a real connection that brings you together.  For you, it's that this is FAMILY! 

For me, it's that she is my soul sister... I didn't create that- some higher force did! ;)

Good luck and just keep the door open and when your spirit is called to reach out then do that without (as much as possible) any expectation in return.

That's the heart way and peace way to do it, I think!

Abrazos,
Vicky