I Feel Sexy: Smiling, Laughing, & Radiating Love

The last few weeks have been a blur of pure bliss, belly laughs, and the sweetest kisses! My bestie got married on April 9th and the wedding was truly one of the most amazing shows of love I have seen in a long time.  I want to write a post solely on that so I will not linger on this, but will say I was moved to tears many times and felt so honored to be a part of such an authentic, mature, and deeply divine expression of love.  I am grateful for your friendships, my dear Tita & Tam.  I am IN LOVE with both of you darlings! Love is so yummy!

I've been on fire dating-wise and have been enjoying every beautiful opportunity to meet someone special.  In fact, having completed the Ultimate Soulmate Summit, The WISH Summit, & The Calling In The One teleconferences, I have been inspired to challenge myself in a way that allows for me to be super open to really connecting with someone on a deep level.  So, like clockwork, of course the Universe responded with presenting wonderful possibilities in the form of intelligent, successful, and true gentlemen that would be honored to take me out! Yes, 2011 is ONLY about conscious, loving men of integrity that desire to share, grow, and build together!  I believe in good men.  I see them everywhere!  And so it is that I have been smiling and glowing from the goodness that I have been so honored to experience.

The better it gets, the better it gets! My life just keeps getting better and better!  Just as I thought I met someone who fits what I want and desire in a partner, it would become clear to me that this person was not what I wanted.  As soon as this thought was born in my mind, I was already face to face with another amazing man that has since afflicted me with a terrible case of incessant butterflies, abundant mind-stimulation, and off the charts attraction and chemistry!  I feel a powerful exileration  all the while I am scared shitless about what this might mean!  It is so funny how a lot if women who say they want to meet their future husband get just as scared when a man comes around who says he wants to meet his wife and it could be you?! Yikes!

Here's what I do know- We are soulmates.  Oh yes, already... You know when you know... I know this... But, I also believe in having many soulmates.  So, the question is not, "Is he is meant for me?"  We are already meant for each other right now in this space and time.  The question becomes, is he my ultimate soulmate life-partner? And that is what the unfolding of our courtship, friendship, and possible romantic partnership is for.  That's also what openly dating is for and so I will continue to do so... for now... until we have the conversation, as he told me over the phone playfully, "I'm going to have to sit you down in a few weeks".  He is extraordinary and I am so honored I get to experience this kind of love.

Speaking of love, if you know me, you know I love easily... I accept you easily... I revel in your joy easily... I am IN LOVE every day!  I am also speaking love a lot.  I am a natural teacher, so I teach naturally.  In part, I do this to reinforce important lessons for myself, affirming those things I think I need to keep me on track!  I am not saying I am right about how I go about loving anybody, but I am not trying to be right.  I am just loving you the best way I can.  My dearest friends know this about me, the best, and for what it's worth, I know I can be annoying in my effort to speak love, in my determination to frame things positively, and to offer teaching insights that seemingly were not requested.  I get that sometimes how I express myself is just not what you want or need, but I can't know what you want or need unless you are very clear about sharing that.

So, I do my best to just be me, talk like me (all loving and positive as much as possible and sometimes offering my own lessons in the mix), be like me, and live by a few good codes: Do no harm; Be good; Do good; Be a power for good. Also, I would be wrong if I did not credit my homeboy, Jesus of Nazereth here.  You are a mighty example of a Good Dude as I said on my Facebook status today, "Happy Easter friends, family, & fb! Whatever ur belief system or faith, there is so much beauty & grace in the story of Jesus, that hopefully it is not lost in the persistence to reject it. Just as u might honor the story of the Tortoise & the Hare (or Bunny!) for its lesson, u might do the same for Jesus. What a powerful example of resilience, humility, sacrifice, and divinity. Jesus! You are a GOOD DUDE!!! :)"  In junior of college, a friend asked me, "why are you so happy all the time?"  I said, "I believe in Jesus.  I guess, you could say, I'm a Jesus-freak and that makes me happy!"  I think I was pretty courageous in letting my freak flag fly and I'm gonna keep letting it fly! In other words, I can't be bogged down by how others see me, and can only hold you but so carefully, and even more importantly, I have to to keep shining MY WAY... So, speaking of love, I would love to thank my dearest friends for the raucous belly laughs in the last few weeks between board game nights, nights out talking about love and sex, and eating together and dishing!  Thank you for letting me be me and accepting me AS IS! I am so IN LOVE with all of you!

All this love is getting me hot and bothered! Ha! I'm bringing sexy back! Jesus rising always does that to me! OMG, I think that was kind of blasphemous?! Ha! This is what I mean by, I do things my way!  Anyway, all this smiling, laughing, and radiating love has enveloped me with a perpetual sexy feeling... Yes, it doesn't hurt when you get wonderful compliments from friends and from the men of interest, but that means nothing if the inside job is not done.  I have to add that this beautiful man I'm dating not only offers in words his appreciation of who I am, but his actions speak volumes.  I have asked a couple of times, "where did you come from!?" I am happy I get to explore this question some more.  One of my friends told me that I got my "mojo" back! Yes! It's here and I love it!